I don’t really like journaling. In theory it sounds appealing, but it takes so much work! Ever since I graduated high school, and my youth pastor gave me a journal as a graduation gift, I’ve been struggling through the discipline of logging my life, prayers, dreams, failures, and experiences. I hardly ever look back on them. But today, as I’m preparing to take a team back to Myanmar, I came across this entry. It was my second year going to Myanmar, and really the start of what would be a foundational part of who I am. Within a matter of days, and on my Christmas break from Junior College, I embarked on a trip to Myanmar that would change the course of my life. Miraculously money was provided, visa’s were granted, flights were obtained and I found myself in the jungles of a South-East-Asian nation Baptizing brand new Christians 50+ years older than me. What was I thinking? I should have been home playing XBox like a normal college kid. Here is the passage I wrote on the plane ride over:
“Thursday or Friday Jan 6, 2005
Over the Pacific Ocean hopefully being led by the creator of everything to tell people how much he loves them. Some of this goes back to the vision I had a while ago about a circle of flames going out from South Vietnam to all of Asia. December 26 of 2004 ended with the worst natural disaster of my lifetime and the question came to my mind…. What am I going to do with my life? Hang out and chill in my cool apt. with my roommates and amazing job that I love and all the comforts of the richest society that ever was or go exclaim, learn, and offer hope and something more to life —> a relationship with the creator who loves us so much he would come and suffer for me.. so that I don’t have to.
What is my life going to be remembered as?
So now I’m on this plane headed for this crazy place most people at home have never heard of. What can I offer them Lord? My Father, My Savior, I give you my time to your service here and there. Help me be willing to talk to anyone.
Guide me Jesus.
Still on plane: Here’s a thought about school and stuff and doing the training. How many times do I have to read the Bible, it tell me to abandon everything, and actually follow? Do I have to read it for 4 years, then I’ll really know it?
My question for myself is whether I really believe what the Bible says, if I do I’ve got a lot of life to give. “
So now I find myself going back and being challenged to live out the mystery of faith once more. It was the faith that I once had that forged our connection to Myanmar in the first place. I’m humbled to think about the things God has done because of the Myanmar trip in Myanmar, in those who have gone with me, and in me.