This week at my small group Adam had the idea of writing a lament in light of the lament we read in Jonah 2.  

From the beginning you were there
Lassie, Legos, and Doc Martin Laces.
Even the slopes of the East Bay
When I was just DNA in my parents bodies.
You’ve always been there.

Here I am, marriage, ministry, Myanmar.
Still just a man.
Sometimes I travel away from you.
I turn you off and pretend you’re not here.
And I’m addicted to doing it.
I hate this about me.
Shame, guilt, fear, isolation have named me.
Screens, lights, and feelings have ensnared me.
I can’t get out. 

I’m down here at the bottom of this Bay.
Below who I know you’ve made me to Be.
Send me a line.  Break these barriers.

If do my best to be silent and hear you, will you say something?

Releasing this weight I step out and step up.
Swimming for air I move
Towards the waving murky light.

The first painful breath, every time its the same.
Don’t let me forget your words,
“I’m never leaving you son
No matter how much you’ve done
or how far you’ve run
I’m never leaving you son”

Break this heart of stone
And clean this confused soul
Like only you can
Like you’ve always done 
You’ve always been there.