Confession of a Seminarian #2: Sometimes I think I’m better than you.

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In case you haven’t read why I’m doing a series of blogs with the title “Confession”, feel free to check out my last post.Essentially, I’m hoping to work through some areas of my outlook and lifestyle that I feel convicted about.  It seems to me that the first step in trying to be a better person, or for me, a follower of Jesus, is to acknowledge my weakness.  So that’s what this is all about.

Tonight’s confess is this: Sometimes I think I’m better than the people around me.  This is particularity disheartening for me when I examine the context of my judgment and superiority over others:

-In seminary classes I’ve often caught myself comparing myself to my classmates; sizing up their ministry skills, judging their work experience, and most sadly even questioning their callings.  

-Amongst my friends in social settings I’ve noticed myself wondering whether my friends are on the right track in life.  I often find myself questioning their decisions and thinking about how I would do what they do better.

-Around town at stores and on the street I’ve become aware that I quickly categorize and label people based on their dress, demeanor, language, culture, and race.

– In general, inside my heart, there is a posture I maintain towards the world and for myself that says, “I’m better than him, her, them”.

Reflecting on this reality grosses me out.  

Basically, I’m judgmental.  Not all the time, but often enough that I’ve noticed it.

When I put myself in the place of judge, I elevate myself above other people.  This is completely opposite of what a follower of Jesus is supposed to do.  Rather, our call is to be a servant of all.  For Christians, being great is not about being elevated above other people, but becoming low, self-less instead of self-ish, seeking to elevate others without getting any attention for ourselves.  In Mark 10:35-14, there is a great discussion about this very subject… check it out.

I hope I can no longer look at people and see how I am better than them.  I hope I can look at people and see what God sees.  He sees their potential.  He sees them as his son or daughter that he loves.  He sees us as worthy enough to give up everything for.

It’s hard to believe, but that’s how He sees me, and that’s how He calls me to see everyone else.

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