At least I’m trying to.

Don’t get me wrong, almost everything the guy says makes me cringe.  So many of his ideas and statements come across as xenophobic, sexist, overly simplistic, illogical, nationalistic, and just plane unethical.

Take for example this video, which is put out by REPUBLICANS, that illustrates how offensive the guy can be.

Frick man.  The guy comes across as a misogynistic megalomaniac.  I can’t understand how so many folks are drinking the Trump punch and  I sincerely hope for the sake of our nation and world that he is not given the keys to the nuclear codes or a platform to spew his reality TV rhetoric around the globe as our president.

Apparently I’m not alone.

The Economist is currently ranking a Trump presidency as the sixth highest global risk, tied with the rising threat of jihadi terrorism destabilizing the global economy.

Think about that.  A Trump White House is considered by many to be a global threat.

So, yeah- I won’t be voting for the dude come Fall.  As a Pastor, I usually don’t share who I’m voting for unless I’m discussing it with close friends or family, but this time around I just can’t help it.  From my vantage point, the teachings of Jesus are antithetical to much of what Trump is proposing and saying.  That said, if you are a Trump supporter, I am committed to respecting your opinion and right to vote as you choose and I’ll do my best to love you, even if I vehemently disagree with you.

Which leads me to my point.

I suck.  Over the past few weeks and months I’ve found myself getting worked up about how awful I think Trump is.  Maybe some of my emotions are justified, but at the same time I’ve chosen to align myself with a different kind of life.

Jesus tells us to love our enemies.

Not just tolerate them or respect them.

But love them.

I confess that I have fallen short in this area.

God, would you create in me a different kind of heart?  One more like yours, that sacrificially loves even those who cause you pain and anguish?

I may not agree with Donald Trump, and I still don’t think he should be president, but what would it look like if I tried to love him?

What if those of us who are angered and offended by him started to pray for him, not out of judgment, but out of love?

As a Christ follower, my first loyalties are not to my country, but to the economy of God where all of us are brothers and sisters.  And scripture teaches us that in this reality our enemies are not ever other people, but powers and principalities of evil.  That means that even though I’ve made him an enemy so-to-speak, Donald Trump is not my enemy.  He is my brother.

So today this is my internal tension.  How do I love Donald Trump like Christ AND actively seek God’s shalom in our world?  How do I stand against the forces of injustice that I believe are racist and misguided while still treating proponents of these ideas with love and grace?

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If you had told me 12 years ago that by 2016 I’d have traveled to Myanmar 12 times, I’d probably think you were crazy.  Well, sometimes life is crazy.

Tomorrow Bridges Myanmar is sponsoring two teams who traveling to and working with the people of Myanmar.  This will be my 12th time visiting and connecting with our friends there.  At this point my passport almost acts exclusively as a Myanmar Tourist Visa stamp booklet.  Besides being an A’s fan and a follower of Christ, there aren’t many other things I’ve been connected with as long as I have been with the people of Myanmar.

What’s even crazier than the fact that this will be my 12th time going to Myanmar since 2004 is all the incredible work that we’ve been able to be a part of.  In so many ways our work in Myanmar is a result of the support and prayers of countless folks who believed in what we have been doing.  As we pack our bags and make get the final things done in preparation for our trip I wanted to say thank you to our family and friends for your continued support.  A special thanks to CrossWinds Church who helped birth this work so many years ago and also to Oak Life Church for sending these teams.

This year one team (led by Alie) will be working with Partners Relief and Development to assist a medical clinic at a refugee camp along the border of Myanmar and Thailand.

The other team, the one I’ll be with, will be connecting to some local churches and leaders as well donating computers to multiple schools in an impoverished region.  We’ll also be providing 100 of these really cool and urgently needed devices that will combat anemia.  Special thanks to Lucky Iron Fish for their partnership with Bridges Myanmar.

Since our work in Myanmar began here are some highlights of the last decade plus:

Please note my usage of the word “we”.  The story of our work in Myanmar is the story of dozens and dozens of volunteers, dreamers, contributors, and supporters.  If you’ve prayed for, talked about, donated to, or come with- you are a part of this!

-We sponsored a young woman from one of the orphanages to go to college here in the US. Her name is Phyu Win and she’s the bravest woman I’ve ever met.  I can’t wait to see what her future holds.  She’s currently being hosted by our friends Sadie and Cory who are some of the most generous and sacrificial people I know.
-Last year we hosted one of our main partners, Pastor Ako here in the US in order to share about his work in Myanmar and continue the partnership.  He visited dozens of homes and churches.
-We bought a local church/orphanage a truck to transport kids and people around town.
-We’ve donated medical supplies to the community in Thaton
-We’ve given hundreds of toys to local orphanages
-We’ve provided computers, cameras, and other technology to various preschools, churches, and orphanages
-We’ve donated thousands of dollars to purchase rice, clothes, and other supplies for a local orphanage in Thaton
-We visited Burmese prisoners and offered encouragement
-We’ve sponsored 6 trips to the beach for the orphans
-We’ve participated in hundreds, yes I mean hundreds, of house church services where we offered friendship and encouragement to folks who are often persecuted for their faith
-We’ve taken over 35 people to Myanmar
-We partnered with CrossWinds Church and donated $10,000 to a local church in order to upgrade their worn out facility
-We started a non-profit 501c3 organization in order to grow and support our work in Myanmar
-We’ve become family with our friends in Myanmar.

None of this would have been possible without the support of so many of you.  Thank you!  I’m confident that this is just the beginning.

If you’d like to donate towards Bridges Myanmar you can do so here. We’re very much still a new organization, but we’re volunteer run and 100% of the proceeds go towards our work in Myanmar.

Alright.  I know I’m about a week late, but here are the books I read this last year.  We’ve all heard the expression, “You are what you eat”, well I think it’s true of what we read as well.  I’m not sure what comes first though.  Do I read because of who I am?  Or do I become what I read?  Either way it’s been interesting to look back at the books I read last year.  As I survey the titles, it’s pretty clear that I’m drawn to Contemplative Spirituality in the vein of a certain first century Jewish teacher, but there are also a few works in the category of Comedic Reflection.

I’m posting this list not to brag by any means, but as a way to mark some of the things I’ve learned in the past 12 months so that I’m less likely to be amnesiac about it all and to keep me motivated to continue my literary adventures on into the future.  The truth is I’m not a fast reader and I actually don’t have the best retention- I’ve had to work really hard at it.  Some of the books come from contemporary voices, others from ancient mystics.  All of them spoke to me in some way.  Also, about half of the books I read via audiobook, so some folks might not think that counts as reading.  Whatever. My hope is that as you read this list you might find some new kindling for your journey.

Without any further delay, here are the books I engaged with last year in no particular order.  I’ll do my best to summarize what I liked in a sentence or two, and provide a link to the book.   Also, I put a few asterik’s next to books that I strongly recommend.

***Accidental Saints: Finding God in all the wrong people, Nadia Bolz-Webber.
This is one of my favorite reads last year.  Nadia does a great job getting to the heart of the Christian faith with some of the most sincere writing in this genre as of late.  I won’t go into too much detail, because I wrote an entire blog about this book a while back.  Def one of the best books of 2015 in my opinion.

Pastrix, Nadia Bolz Webber
Before Accidental Saints, there was Pastrix.  It’s in the same vein and is essentially a catalog of stories and reflections from Nadia, a recovered addict, and a female Lutheran Pastor.  One of my favorite things about Nadia is that she puts grace into such powerful terms.  If you’re looking for some musings on just that, grace, without any religious fluff- she’s awesome.  You check out some of her sermons here.    She’s also a pretty good tweeter.

Thoughts on Solitude, Thomas Merton
The title sums up this book well.  Essentially, it’s Thomas Merton reflecting on the spiritual journey of contemplation, solitude, and listening for the voice of the divine all around.  In a busy and hectic world like ours, I find that voices like Merton act like long overdue antidotes to our chaotic conditions.  If you’re curious about any of these themes, Merton is a great place to start.

The Seven Storey Mountain, Thomas Merton
Before you get into Merton, it might be worth checking out his memoir.  I loved reading his reflections on his life, especially as he grew up during the great wars, and I also cherished his own self reflection as he entered the monastic life.

***Why Did Jesus, Moses, the Buddha, and Mohamed Cross the Road? Christian Identity in a Multi-faith World, Brain Mclaren
Brian is one of my favorite authors.  He comes across as incredibly wise, yet humble and sincere.  This book is a great exploration of what it means to hold fast to the exclusive claims of Christ yet practice inclusiveness towards our friends of different faiths or no faith.  In a wold as polarized as ours when it comes to religion (think Donald Trump), we need more voices like this.  Of all the books in this list, this is probably the most pertinent to current global events.

A Generous Orthodoxy, Why I am a missional, evangelical, post/protestant, liberal/conservative, mystical/poetic, biblical, charismatic/contemplative, fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, catholic, green, incarnational, depressed- yet hopeful, emergent, unfinished Christian, Brian Mclaren
I had to put the entire title in this summary because it tells the story of this book.  A Generous Orthodoxy is a thoughtful exploration of what Christianity looks like for many of us today.  In this work Brian summarizes well what it means to follow Christ sincerely while being able to question the denominational divides in Christianity in a way that is hopeful, positive, and proactive.  For anyone who has history with Christianity and finds Jesus compelling but has issues with his followers, this is a great book.  I had read it a few years back but decided to pick it up again, and it spoke to me just as much in 2015 as it did in 2006.

Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and finding the Church, Rachel Held-Evans
Along with Accidental Saints, this was my second favorite new book of 2015.  With authenticity and a knack for storytelling, Rachel chronicles her faith journey from Evangelical roots, through seasons of doubt, towards a more liturgical religious expression.   For folks who are more familiar with American evangelicalish church (worship band and preaching), this book is a great introduction  and a fresh portrayal of more historic forms of Christian spiritual practice, namely some of the sacramental and liturgical traditions.  After reading the book I felt more connected to the deep, wide, and rich community of Jesus-followers that transcends continents and centuries.

Food: A Love Story, Jim Gaffigan
As a follow up to his earlier work, Dad is Fat, this book is just plain awesome.  Basically it complies Jim’s thoughts of food and living in narrative form and is completely and totally hilarious.  Alie and I listened to this on a road trip after buying it for my dad.  After each time reading it I had this strange desire to eat bacon. I strongly recommend listening to this via audio book.

Yes Please, Amy Poeher
With hilarious and honest stories and self reflections, Amy captures her humor and personality well in this book.  Essentially it’s a memoir of sorts that tells the story of her time on Saturday Night Live and what it’s like to be a female comedian in a male dominated industry.  We really liked this one, and again- I’d recommend listening to it instead of reading it.

Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy, Donald Miller
Donald Miller is a great story teller, and I’ve got a few friends who know him personally, so I sometimes feel like I do too.  I think that’s a result of how he writes in a self reflective manor in a way that opens you up and gets you thinking.  This book chronicles one of Don’s life struggles, namely being vulnerable with others in a way that fosters intimacy.  As an author and public figure, it’s easy for him to put on a show and hide behind his brand, but he’s trying his hardest to put down the masks and be fully known.  This was a quick read that actually brought up some relationship stuff for me personally, and I think it would help anyone think through having authentic and intimate relationships.

Slow Church, Cultivating the Patient Way of Jesus, Christopher Smith & John Pattison
The basic premise of Slow Church is that fast church (kind of like fast food) is not always the best way to do church.  In American culture we want things fast and affordable.  We go to box stores and franchised out eateries.  This pattern can be seen in American Christianity with mega-churches, franchised programs and brands, satellite feed church services, etc.  Slow church is the opposite: patient, neighborhood oriented, and valuing relationships over marketing.  I loved this book because I think it’s a great picture of what I think church is moving towards.  At our church, Oak Life, our leadership team is in the process of reading it right now, and has started some great conversation for what it means to be the church in 2016.

The Gift of the Jews: How a Tribe of Desert Nomads Changed the Way Everyone Thinks and Feels, Thomas Cahill
With vivid storytelling and historical context, The Gift of the Jews tells the unlikely story of “how a tribe of…” and changed the world.  I was reading this book alongside my own personal study of the Hebrew Scriptures and found Cahill’s writing excellent and a great commentary on those ancient texts.  This is a perfect book for anyone who doesn’t quite get why the God of the Old Testament is so tribal and warmongering.  Essentially, Cahill argues that understood in context, the Old Testament actually tells a radically progressive story of justice compared to the cultures around, that for their time, even the most brutal accounts in books like Judges and Joshua are giant steps forward for humanity.  That the Bible is essentially a library of progressive texts telling the story of God’s constant movement towards freedom and liberation for humanity.

***What We Talk About When We Talk About God, Rob Bell
Rob Bell has an uncanny ability to capture his audience’s imagination, and in this book he does a great job framing the notion of God within new and expansive language and thinking.  Drawing on stories, logic, some pretty incredible science, astronomy, and theology, Rob invites readers into a deeper sense of mystery towards the divine and the universe.  This was one of my more enjoyable reads last year and I recommend it to anyone who’s interested in a fresh take on some of the biggest questions of our existence- whether you’re a person of faith or not, I think you’d find this book compelling and intriguing.  I also find Rob’s other works (podcast, twitter, etc.) enriching.  You can check them out here.

How (Not) to Speak of God, Peter Rollins
Peter is one crazy Irish dude.  If you get the chance, you should definetly read some of his work.  He’s a Christian philosopher that thinks way outside the box and seems to always blow my mind.  This book is split into two parts.  The first is an new exploration of what church could look like, and the second are descriptions of a experimental Christian gatherings in Belfast Ireland.  I love how Peter is able to tap into great thinkers from inside and outside of Christianity and re-imagine what Jesus following communities and language might look like in the future.

A Letter to My Congregation: An Evangelicals Path to Embracing People Who Are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Into the Community of Jesus, Ken Wilson
This book is one of many books I’ve read on this subject over the last few years and influenced a blog I wrote a while back that surprisingly caused a stir.  Basically, it’s Ken Wilson’s explanation of how he embraced an inclusive and affirming stance towards the LGBT community in his church.  What separates this book from some of the other popular books on this subject is that it was written by a heterosexual, middle aged, white man who Pastors what at the time was a mega-church.  Unfortunately, after the book was published his denomination kicked their church out.  I’m afraid that this issue will continue to polarize the Christian community but I’m grateful to be a part of a community that  is and will continue to be a safe place for our LGBT friends– and I hope and pray for many more.

Revelations of Divine Love, Julian of Norwich
As one of the first female authors this book is significant on many levels.  Julian of Norwhich was a 14th century Christian mystic, and in this book she documents her “visions” from God which are profound and thought provoking portrayals of the nature of the divine and the human condition.  I found this book both mysterious and encouraging.   I also found myself needing to look up many words because some of the language comes from hundreds of years ago and has fallen out of use.  If you’re into Christian mysticism- this is a great and classic read.

The Wisdom of Eachother, Eugene Peterson
Eugene is one of my favorite authors.  This book is a series of letters between Peterson and a friend of his who was a beginning to engage with the spiritual journey.  I won’t get into it too much because I wrote a blog about it earlier in the year.

***Working the Angles: The Shape of Pastoral Integrity, Eugene Peterson
Like I said, Eugene is one of my favorite authors and that’s probably because I relate to him as a Pastor.  Not everyone will find the same connection that I have with him.  That said Working the Angles is an awesome take on what being a Pastor is all about.  Namely that, prayer, spiritual direction, and theological reflection come before the more visible duties of speaking, organizing, and leading.  This goes contrary to a lot the current wisdom in church leadership / pastoral circles.  Often times Pastors try to build their brand by focusing on the more visible aspects of the job and measure success through their fame, church attendance, etc.  Peterson is adamantly opposed to this way of understanding and this book is a great framework for pastoring- at least one I strongly relate to. I gave this a few asterisks, but if you’re not a pastor, you might not enjoy it as much as I did.

***In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership, Henri Nouwen
Henri is one of the great Christian voices of recent times.  This book is a lot like the one right above it (Working the Angles), but has a Nouwen flair that’s one of a kind.  It was probably my 2nd favorite read of the year.  Instead of trying to summarize it, I’ll share one quote that captures the essence of the book: “I am telling you all this because I am deeply convinced that the Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self.(17)” Good stuff.  If you’re in ministry of some sorts, I totally recommend this, especially alongside Peterson’s work.

The Next Generation Leader: 5 Essentials that Will Shape the Future, Andy Stanley
Oddly enough, following Nouwen and Peterson with Andy Stanley is some what paradoxical.  Nouwen and Peterson would probably find Stanleys megachurch leadership models superficial and over simplified, but that’s actually what made this book a good conversation partner.  Though totally different from my personality, I found Stanley to be incredibly helpful and practical.  I would recommend this book to anyone in any form of leadership.

Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home, Richard Foster
I loved this book. I took my time with this book.  It’s written in the early 1990’s and I’m pretty sure I read it a long time ago- but it stands the test of time for sure. In Prayer Foster provides an remarkably thoughtful and extensive overview of the Christian practice of prayer that is both encouraging and practical.  As I worked through the book I found myself often times more drawn to the mystery of God and prayer.  I would recommend this book to any Jesus-follower, but especially some one who’s interested in an introduction to prayer, contemplation, and mysticism.

In the Heart of the Desert: The Spirituality of the Desert Fathers, and Mothers, John Chryssavgis
Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve got an affinity for Christian mystics, and a lot of Christian mysticism and monasticism finds it’s origins in who we’ve affectionately named the Desert Fathers and Mothers.  These individuals left the trappings of society and headed to the desert in order to live lives of simplicity and prayer.  In the Heart of the Desert is a great introduction to some of these fascinating characters who in reality shaped Christianity in many ways.  Essentially this book is a collection of sayings from various Abbas (Fathers) and Ammas (Mothers) broken into different topics and narrated by John Chryssavgis.  I found this book full of truth nuggets and thought provoking anecdotes about reality, God, and the self.

How bout you?  What were your favorite reads of 2015?

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Recently I’ve had a few conversations with some friends who are curious about Jesus.  I mean what the heck is up with that guy, right?  Why do some people really seem to love the dude?  Why does it seem like politicians and other leaders are always trying to appeal to him so much?

In our day and age talking with people who are curious about Jesus is actually somewhat remarkable considering how bad a job those who identify with him tend to represent him.  At the same time it does makes sense for folks to be intrigued by Jesus given how influential and polarizing a character he has been over the last few thousand years.  Simply put there aren’t any other figures in history that have had such an incredible impact on our world.  His life and teachings have a profound power, one that I can’t quite explain, but am still drawn to daily.

So for anyone who’s curious about this first century Jew from a no-name outpost of the Roman Empire and who ended up turning our world upside down, this post if for you.  Here are a few ways to engage with, and maybe even encounter the one they call the Christ.

Distinguish Jesus from his followers.
I hate that I have to say this, but I do.  In American culture, Jesus has been co-opted by countless causes for the sake of political or financial gain and it’s important to first separate Jesus from those who claim Jesus.  Admittedly, that includes me.    If you want to know more about a person, don’t look at just what other people say about them, spend time with the actual person!

Read the accounts of Jesus
The Bible is at the same time an incredibly complicated book and very straightforward.  In Christian tradition the Bible culminates and centers on the person of Jesus.  Everything else is basically context.  So in one way it’s pretty simple in that the Bible tells the story of God’s redemption of our world in Christ.  The complicated part of the Bible is that it was written thousands of years ago in multiple languages and cultures using metaphors and stories that are often buried underneath the weight of time and translation.  That said, to engage with the focal point of the Bible (Jesus) is not very hard.  If you’re curious about him, I’d recommend spending some time in what are called the gospels (good news).  Those books are Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John and they each give an account of Jesus from a different perspective.    Let your imagination find yourself in the stories.  Read them like they’re true.  Just hang out with the Jesus of the Bible and see what happens.

Spend some time in prayer and wrestling
One of the things I love the most about faith is that it’s not static.  It’s a constant process where I have doubts and questions and I wrestle.  For me, my sense is that I’m wrestling with something outside of myself, a higher power, or maybe even God.  In some ways, that’s all prayer is.  Letting your mind talk with whatever it is that put us all here.  Again, for me that’s God.   My prayers range from being frustrated with God to feeling like I can’t thank God enough to asking God to intervene in a particular situation.  Somehow in this process I feel a deeper connection to Christ.  It’s important to note that doubts and questions are completely appropriate if you feel like experimenting with this Jesus character.  In fact, if you read some of the stories about him and don’t have questions or doubts you might be missing how provocative they actually are.

Hang out with some people who seem to like Jesus
I know I said that you should distinguish between Jesus and his followers, but what I meant was that you should first get to know him before other people get you off track.  Most Jesus curious people are actually really sincere.  They are drawn to and changed by his teachings about grace, forgiveness, love, and also by his death and resurrection which he said were for the sake of the world.  If you share space with people who are also curious about Jesus you might see some interesting things.  This is where church might be helpful.  I know that it’s not that common to go to church nowadays, but if you do check it out, you’ll find some ancient traditions and meet some lovely people who may very well help in your curiosity about Jesus.

Ask lots of questions
I can’t stress that enough.  If you’re curious, ask questions.  Then keep asking them.  Make sure not to ask the person who acts like they know it all.  They usually don’t.  When we’re asking questions about faith or God, we’re asking questions that more often than not open up more questions.  And sometimes it’s in this process that we encounter God.

This week a friend asked me why Christians say that Jesus died for our sins.  That’s a great and honest question.  Even after I’ve been learning about and walking with Jesus for a few decades, I still have lots of questions.  Hopefully you’ll know some people who can help you stay curious and keep the sense of wonder.  If you don’t- let’s hang.

Read some stuff
There are tons of books about Jesus out there, so where do you start?  I’d recommend a few, but I’d also say that you should ask around for yourself too.  I don’t agree with all the theology (opinions about God) of all these authors, but I have read these books and think they’re awesome:

Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis
What We Mean When We Talk About God, Rob Bell
Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning
Crazy Love, Francis Chan
Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller
Accidental Saints, Nadia Bolz-Webber

Repeat
Keep exploring and learning.  Stay curious.  If you encounter anyone who tries to pressure you into their style of Jesus, know that they usually mean well and just want you to experience what they’ve experienced.  I get how this can be off putting.  Brush it off because this is your journey- we each have our own path, and I think if we’re looking for it, we’ll find Jesus with us there.

There is this old phrase in Christian tradition that describes taking our swords and beating them into plowshares.  If you’re like me, a city dweller, you’re probably not familiar with what a plowshare is.  A plowshare is a tool used by farmers to cut into the ground in order to soften it and cultivate it for crops.  It would be carried behind an animal and dragged through the dirt.  Plowshares are metal blades used for non-violent purposes to help provide for the needs of the community.

The Biblical phrase comes out of Micah 4:3 and Isaiah 2:4 where the prophetic literature paints a picture of God’s purposes and hopes for our world.  Essentially, God’s desire is for his children to have peace, that our swords (whatever they may be) would be transformed into devices that serve the common good.

For Christians, the individual at the center of our reality not only agrees with the notion of beating our swords into plowshares, but personifies it.  Christ’s power was known in sacrifice and surrender and he responded to violence with forgiveness and grace.  When Peter pulled out a sword to defend Jesus, he was corrected by the words “all who live by the sword, die by the sword.”

The portrait of God in the scriptures and in God’s incarnation is one where our tools of violence are exchanged for the warfare of love.

Fast forward a few thousand years to this week.  Another mass shooting.  This time it wasn’t a deranged white dude, it was a Muslim couple.  One of the victims was someone my sister had worked with personally.  There are no words to describe the tragedy and horror.

In response the president of Liberty University, the largest “evangelical” Christian college in the nation says openly that students should acquire guns and form groups to learn how to use them so that we can “end those muslims”.

Across the nation gun sales rocket as conservative and often Christian voices encourage the proliferation of killing devices, or as we like to describe them, self defense tools.

And last night a pastor I used to work with posted on Facebook that after hearing Obama’s speech to the nation, he’s getting a gun.  As I read the comments below there were dozens of people telling the pastor that they were in agreement.  As of last count 3 “amens” and 87 likes.

Does something here seem incongruent to anyone else?

It feels like these faith leaders haven’t even read the text that they claim has divine inspiration and authority.  As one author says, Jesus carried a cross, not a gun.

I understand the fear of extremists and active shooters – I really do.  But most of the folks who are propagating these ideas are so far removed from any immediate danger.  It seems so obvious that we’re being driven by fear.

Here is the my observation, one that I’ve thought through a lot over the last few weeks.  In the words of Dr. King, “Violence always begets more violence”.  That is our history.  After every war that will “end all wars”, there always comes another one.

Did you know that the United States has been at war at least 222 out of 239 years of our existence?  That means if you pick any year of our history, there is a 93% chance we will have been engaged in some violent conflict.  And every time we go down the path of violence, our leaders promise us it will bring peace in the end.

The more we flood our nation with guns, the more likely we are to see them used for evil.  It’s that simple.  Violence always begets more violence.  If we sow a culture of killing, death, and an incredibly profitable gun industry, make no mistake- we will reap what we sow.

The most confusing part of all this to me is how Christians can be so in support of this all.  How can you possibly reconcile the teachings and example of Christ with a culture that celebrates and encourages  more of us to exchange our plowshares for guns, saturating our society with more killing devices all for the profit of corporations?  Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

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“The measure of a civilization is how it treats its weakest members.” – Donald Trump

Just kidding, it was probably Gandhi, but it’s also been attributed to Truman, Pope John Paul II, Dostoyevsky, and others.  Whoever it was-  I agree.

With all this talk around making America “great” again I think it’s revealing and scary to reflect on just how many people impoverished, imprisoned, and oppressed in our nation.

Today I brought some supplies to some friends of ours in a local homeless camp.  For the past year our little church plant has befriended and tried to help some of our members who have been sleeping under 880 in Oakland.  If you’ve driven through the Webster Tunnel  to Alameda you’ve probably seen their tents.

As a follower of Christ, there is this peculiar teaching that we’re supposed to live out that says the divine abides powerfully and mysteriously in the “least of these”.  Essentially, according to Christ, it’s the poor who are the most blessed in God’s economy.  This teaching challenges the power structures of our world and calls us to serve, know, support, and love the poor and vulnerable.

Last winter I became friends with Mac, a brilliant Jesus-loving man who had just started to attend our church.  One week we grabbed coffee and chatted about church, Thomas Merton, and homelessness.  To be honest I was surprised when he told me he was homeless.

Over the course of time Mac and I became friends, he became a big part of our church, and invited us to partner the ministry he was carrying out in the homeless camp he stayed.  We started a life group in the camp, brought them medicine, supplies, tents, food, water, and most importantly grew in friendship.  Not bad for a church plant barley a year old that doesn’t even break even in it’s own budget yet.

That brings me to the last few weeks.  At some point I got a call from Mac explaining that the Sheriff was kicking them out.  They gave them 5 minutes to move their belongings or they would all be thrown away.  Somewhere around 20 people had to get up and leave without any direction as to where they should go or any help getting there.

In the days that followed, they built the gates pictured below.  If you get a chance to see them- they are huge (Trump reference intended).   I’ve since asked multiple folks in the camp if anyone has come by to offer support or resources.  Nothing.  What’s hard for me to understand here is how we can have the resources to build and pay for such a significant fence, but we can’t take the time to work with the folks who were staying in the camp.  All that happened here is a band-aid.  What was the plan?  Where did they expect Mac and his neighbors to go?

I’m not claiming to have answers, but I know that we should have the conversation.  If we claim to be a “great” nation, how can we treat people like this?

If you’d like to read about this camp Mac had been bloging about it for a while.  You can read his work here: https://oaklandhomeless.wordpress.com/

Uptown Station- site of the new Uber headquarters

Recently I was asked the question, “So what’s new in Oakland?”  They probably weren’t asking for it, but my response was an explanation of the change occurring in the city I love and have lived in for the last few years.   I shared with the inquirer about the conflict arising near our home as new folks move into neighborhoods and price out locals- how some people have been racial profiling on a local social media site.   I gave a cliff-notes version of recent news that Uber is moving into town and adding 3-5,000 new jobs, which will inevitably create more demand for housing, in turn driving up rents and property values.  Essentially, the last few years have brought a tremendous amount of change to Oakland, for better or worse.  For people who have grown up in Oakland, many can no longer afford to live here, and I’m sure for some folks, every new cafe, brewery, and barber shop is salt in the wound created by gentrification.

Oakland is one of the most dynamic cities in the world, and I’m not just saying that because I’m a life long, die hard A’s fan.  Unlike most major cities, there is no majority demographic.  This level of diversity has made Oakland a rich and vibrant community.  Some even say it’s the soul of the Bay Area.

Now many are worried that Oakland is changing, that the free markets are making it increasingly difficult for low income folks, artists, and minorities to maintain Oakland residence.

Confession:  I am newer to Oakland even though I’ve lived in the East Bay for almost all of my life.  I am a young, white, millennial.  Even though it’s a church, and one that is trying to care deeply about the community, I started a business here. I’m riding the wave of new interest and gentrification.  I come from privilege.  And every time I read an article about gentrification, I know that they’re talking about people like me.

So what do we do about it? Leave?  Pretend it’s not an issue?

Well, I’ve got a few ideas.

First I think we need to tell the truth.  If we deny the changes going on in many American cities, we perpetuate the problem.  I remember driving around the Sunset with my grandfather as he pointed out Chinese restaurants that used to be Irish pubs.  The reality is that demographic change is a constant.  People are born.  People relocate.  People sell and buy homes.  We shouldn’t feel ashamed of being a part of societal transition because it’s always happening, but we must be honest about it, and we should think critically about our responsibility to one another.  So let it out- if you’re new, keep it 100, be honest.  And if you think of yourself as an ethical person (personally, I try to follow the ethics of Jesus- though I routinely fall short), consider the ways change can happen in a way that protects and elevates the poor, marginalized, and voiceless.

Second, I think we need to listen and learn the stories of those who have lived here before us.  As part of the Christian community, I’ve been blown away as I’ve learned about the work of people in Oakland who care for the poor, speak out for the voiceless, organize politically, and live into the gospel.  There are literally hundreds of churches who have gone before us, and it’s on their shoulders that we stand.  This includes organizations like Project Peace, Oakland Community Organizations (and all of their partner churches), Trybe, Oakland Leadership Center, Oakland Nightwalks, individuals like Pastor Deborah Avery, Andrew Park, Ben McBride, Albert Lee, Larry Adams, Josh McPaul, Jim Hopkins, and way more.  It’s been incredible to learn the ways in which justice, hope, reconciliation, and peace (God’s Shalom) have been building here long before Oakland became our home.  I hope we can learn from and build on the work of these and many other local heroes of mine.

Third, I think we need support the work of those who are already here.  One of the compelling aspects of the gospel is that God incarnates himself into humanity, meaning that he comes to us where are.  That means we’re not bringing God some where he’s not, but that we find God already there.  Therefore, we’re called to join in on what God is already doing instead of thinking it’s our job to be god in a new context.  Practically, we should support already established businesses and organizations instead of just frequenting the cool new spots in town.   I know this might sound hypocritical coming from some one who has started a new church, but I think I can make the case that churches are a little different.  That we need lots of new churches- and that we can create new churches in a way that both benefits and learns from existing church communities- but we must be willing to build a relationship and take a posture of humility.

Fourth and lastly, I think we need to be willing to get messy.  That’s good advice for lots of things, not just the gentrification issue.  But seriously, unless we’re willing to put in the work and listen before we move in and change things, we’ll likely alienate the people who represent the legacy and history of our city- and it’s these people that have made places like Oakland such treasures.  Sometimes the mess will come as we engage the political system in such a way that protects and elevates the marginalized, and sometimes the mess will come as we get lunch at a restaurant that isn’t as cool as the newest brew-pub.

In summary, if change is inevitable, my opinion is that we need to ask the question “how can we do change in an ethical way that doesn’t hurt people but uplifts many?”. 

One last comment:  I’m learning.  If I’m off base in my thoughts, or need to rethink this stuff, I’m all ears.

I don’t always pick up books right when they come out, but Nadia’s new work caught my attention a while ago, so I got it soon after it was released.  Accidental Saints is a great read.  It’s brutally honest.  Right of the bat I connected with the author’s sincerity and vulnerability. It’s got lots of cussing- which for some reason makes it feel more real to me.  It’s funny as hell.  You can tell that the author, Nadia Bolz-Webber, spent some time as comedian.  And it’s stinging with grace.  Essentially, it’s a memoir and a series of reflections written by a female Lutheran who’s found herself a Pastor of a church in Denver called House for All Saints and Sinners.

As a pastor myself, I come across a lot of books written by other pastors.  Usually, they are more of the same regurgitated, feel-good, church-y, sermons-turned-to-books kind of things.  Accidental Saints is an antidote to these offerings as it sincerely explores the every day experience of messed up people and a messed up pastor finding God in the midst of their messiness.  I can’t begin to explain how refreshing and encouraging it was to read the stories of Nadia’s failures, proclivities, and insecurities, and how the good news of Jesus meets her in all of it.

It’s possible that being pastor, and probably sharing some of the same convictions as the author, that I resonated with the book more than others might, but I can’t help but think that it is a great picture of what Christianity is all about.  I loved the candidness in which Nadia shared her frustrations, doubts, and hopes with regards to her faith and relationship with the church.  I appreciated her connection to liturgy and the church calendar even though I don’t come from a tradition that emphasizes them.  When I finished the book, I felt more aware of God’s grace and believed in church more than when I started it.  I think that means it was good.  Did I mention she cusses a lot?

Accidental Saints is a fun read that I would recommend to anyone who’s interested in Christianity, church stuff, spirituality, gender issues in the church, or Jesus.

Below is a link to the book on Amazon, but before that I wanted to highlight a few of my favorite quotes:

From Nadia’s Facebook page

http://www.amazon.com/Accidental-Saints-Finding-Wrong-People/dp/1601427557

Alaska.

They told her she couldn’t do it.  It was too far, too dangerous.

“That’s all you need when you’re 19 or 20, someone telling you you can’t do something.  The next thing we knew Lois and I were at the train station, and everyone was giving us boxes of food for the trip,” she once said.

My recollection of Grandma, my memory of her spirit, is that she always had this optimistic stubbornness about her.  She believed. In herself, in things working out, in her boys, and in God.   Some of our family have described it as Norwegian grit.  Maybe she got it from her Norwegian ancestors who settled in the most rugged of North American terrain, carving out a life in colder than cold climates long before centralized heat was even a blip in human consciousness.

So she did it- she left home in North Dakota for the Kodiak frontier.   And it was there, on Alaska’s shores that she met my grandfather, Harvey.  He was a military man, had served in the Pacific Theater, and was in the Coast Guard at the time.  They got married, had four boys (Alan, Bryan, Conrad, and Doug), and lived in every nook and cranny of our nation, until they settled in Richmond, California.   While raising her four boys, Grandma put herself through nursing school and purchased a home for her family herself.   Grandma’s journey was one of a kind.  Her sprit always carried independence, perseverance, gratitude, hope, and faith.

—–

On Tuesday Alie and I loaded up the Honda Fit with sleeping bags, folding chairs, a cooler, a tent, and other camping essentials.  We made a quick pit stop in Sonoma County in order to wet our whistles and stock up on some grape hydration, then it was onward to the shoreline.

We made camp just north of Fort Bragg on the coast, with a marine layer overhead and the low roar of the pacific current slowly eroding the coastal cliffs of California in our ears.  The fog broke just long enough for us to see the sun sink below the horizon, before we roasted some dinner over the fire and called it a night.

Morning came and for the first few hours things started out as expected.

Then we got a text from my parents about Grandma.  This wasn’t a surprise, as Grandma had been battling against failing health for the past few years.  There had been some setbacks, but Grandma and her Norwegian stubbornness had bested death for a while now.

Just an hour later or so we got another text that carried more urgency.  We called back and it was clear that her time was near.  So we reversed course on highway 1, and charted our way to the hospital that would be her final earthly home.

Late that night, or maybe early the next morning, Grandma continued her trailblazing by taking that fateful step into the greatest unknown adventure there is, leaving this place for that final somewhere.

—–

My parents house was full.  My sister, her husband, and our niece had driven up from Southern California to say their goodbyes.  They joined Alie and I and my folks for a few days of unstructured time together.  It was stinking hot outside so we mostly just hung out indoors eating, watching TV, caring for and laughing at Callie, and trying to figure out our O.C.D. dog Sonny.

That time and space together was an peculiar mix of mundane and sacred.  As we all bumped up against mortality together, awkward and unfamiliar at every turn, I did my best to just feel and process what we were encountering in the death of my grandma.

—–

So here are some unfiltered reflections:

– My final memories talking with Grandma were filled with words of gratitude.  She kept on saying how grateful she was for her time, her family, my dad, and me and Alie.  With death so near,  it felt like the most sincere and striking expression of gratitude you can have.  It’s like she knew she had for a time held something precious, a beautiful gift, and that her time holding it would soon be over.  Instead of being resentful that this thing would be taken away, she saw it as a privilege to even ever behold it.  I hope I can hold life that way, seeing it all as a gift.

– Death wins the battle but faith wins the war.  Grandma was still sharp towards the end.  She voiced that she knew it was time, but she still didn’t want to go because she’d have to leave everyone.  Part of her wanted to keep fighting, and for the last few years that’s what she’s done, but eventually, our bodies fail us.  It was there in those moments that I heard Grandma say things with a tone of surrender like, “I know God is in control”.  There was a sense with her that though she knew she would soon die, that death was not the end.  In listening to her, I know that this hope stems from her belief in resurrection, that even as Christ died he walks with us through our own death, and as he won the war over death in his resurrection, so too can we have hope that the war will be won in the end.  

– One of the most significant areas of this season for me has been watching my dad faithfully care for Grandma.  For the past few years his role as child to parent has in many ways reversed.  He’s been with Grandma every step of the way, sacrificing his will for hers.  He’s empowered her to choose her own path, supported her health while it was failing on multiple fronts, and willingly surrendered countless days and nights to be there with Grandma- from her home to the hospital and back again.  It hasn’t been easy, at times it’s been exhausting, discouraging, and frustrating.  I know because I’ve heard it in his voice and seen it in his eyes.  This is the woman who cared for and nursed my father, and  he’s done his best to return the gesture in the most admirable and remarkable of ways.   As Solomon wrote, “there is a season for everything”, and certainly we are in the time of mourning now- but at the same time I can imagine that for my dad there is relief within the grief, that this time faithfully and sacrificially caring for his mother will be entering into a new season- that in some ways he’s been released, just like Grandma has been released from the pain and anguish of her failing health to the season of eternal spring.  Thank you Dad for persevering these last few years alongside Grandma as she persevered also.  Thank you for the ways you modeled being a son.  Thank you for leading the way as a father.  

– Personally grief has felt strange this time around.  I guess there is no protocol for it.  It just is.  I didn’t really want to be with people, but at the same time I did.  Typically I enjoy striking up conversation and asking questions, but not these last few days.  I wanted to be around people and be alone at the same time.  Grief came in waves, usually gentle and smooth, but then one wave would crest and fall in on itself releasing the pain and loss underneath.  Then it’s back to the softer swells, all the while you have no control of the currents, winds, and tides.  I think grief is like that, it comes when it wants to. It’s fluid and wanes and waxes on its own schedule.  Our job is to be attentive to it, allowing it to rush or calm as needed.  We need to create floodways and overflows in the wake of grief, giving ourselves permission to feel what we feel, creating space to reflect, cry, say goodbye, and capture our memories and experiences in some form or another (I think that’s why I feel compelled to write all this out).  Death can be a great window into the reality of the ocean we live in, giving us the chance to see what’s really going on all the time just below the surface.  If we allow death and loss to be our teachers, I think we’ll learn a lot about life.  

-I’ve noticed this before, but being around my niece who is just under a year old had a restorative affect on us.  Her utter obliviousness to death was pure innocence and had a way of bookending life.

–I’m beyond grateful for Alie.  Can’t say that enough.  This all happened on our anniversary, a day which I’m usually already emotional, so I was all over the place, and she was so loving and supportive through it all.

So there is more, but for now I’ll leave it there.  Maybe I’ll add more reflections as time goes on.

Goodbye Grandma.  Thanks for your optimism, your generosity, your perseverance, and your trailblazing spirt.  We trust you now into the care of the resurrected Christ who holds the power to calm any sea.  May you enter into communion with our Creator with your genuine smile.

Ann Marie Scott with 3 of her 4 grandsons and spouses, 4 or her 6 grandchildren (3 spouses), and 3 of her great grandchildren. Grandma is in pink on the right.

–

–

Today I really wanted to join in on the countless Facebook posts regarding the Supreme Court’s ruling on Same Sex Marriage.  Reading the comments of folks was both encouraging and disheartening as the full spectrum of humanity- love to hate, was exposed yet again like it has been by so many events this year.  Thankfully, there was grace for me and I had restraint to craft my words more intentionally and think about what I want to communicate.

To my friends who have felt second class, judged, and kept from equal rights, I stand by you and celebrate with you today.  This is big.   As a Christian, and a Pastor, I know there is a tremendous amount of healing that needs to be done and that my community has deeply hurt the LGBT community for decades.   For that I mourn and ask for your forgiveness.   While I fully acknowledge the need for healing and reconciliation, and that this must to continue on into the future, today we can celebrate together.

Congratulations to my teachers, my friends, my family, and to those in my church community who now stand with equal rights and privileges.  I can’t imagine what this day must mean to you.

For my friends in the LGBT community, today must be overflowing with emotions.  The beauty of feeling free to love.  The relief of never thinking this day would come.  The comfort of feeling heard, respected, and treated with dignity.  The pride of equality.  The hope that justice is real and that things can get better.  The joy of not having to be alone forever.

Today I stand with you.  Stoked.

To my friends who identify with that infamous first century jewish radical who loved so sacrificially that it cost him everything, let us lead with the grace and humility he modeled today.  Our call is not to be right on a particular position on any given issue, but rather to follow Christ as he loves all.  Today let us be challenged by the reality that reconciliation is a higher call than rightness of belief or position.  So no matter where you lean with regards to how you theologically define marriage, your first obligation is love.

For those of my friends who don’t agree with today’s decision, that’s alright.  Take a deep breath.  The sky hasn’t fallen.  Consider what love obligates you to today, and at the very least try to understand and empathize with those who have felt oppressed and unheard for so long.

If you’d like to seriously engage this conversation further, I’d love to process with you- but mostly in person.  Also, I’ve added a list of books in case you’re ready think through this stuff with a fresh perspective.

Oh and also- know that at least at our church community all our welcome, and we really mean it:
http://oaklandlocal.com/2015/02/oaklands-new-church-promotes-spiritual-inclusivity/

Recourses:

A Letter to My Congregation:
http://www.amazon.com/Letter-My-Congregation-Ken-Wilson/dp/1939880300

Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gay/Straight Debate:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1455514306/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_2/188-6357464-2023029?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_r=1B1DQT7ERD9G397DQYA5&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_p=1944687702&pf_rd_i=1939880300

God and the Gay Christian:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/160142518X/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_1?pf_rd_p=1944687502&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1939880300&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1W4EC4KYAFP5AYX90615

Cheers!